Compulsions
I wake up out of my restless sleep. I look around, see the dogs, take a deep breath. Everything feels okay in this moment. And then…it starts. Heart is racing, hands sweat, and tunnel vision begins. Get the dogs out of bed, move the pillows, straighten the sheet, make the bed. Straighten all of the drawers, get the chair ready, fold all the blankets in the house. Brush my teeth, 6 sections, 20 seconds a section, then mouthwash for one minute. Take the dogs out, get Marshall his medicine, get my coffee. I’m ready for Jesus Time - Wait. You didn’t floss. Heart is racing, go and floss. For a brief moment, my heart calms down. So I go and sit in my chair, and put in my headphones. Wait. The corner of the bed isn’t straight. Wait. Marshall needs combed again. Wait - did you lock the door? Wait - did you leave the oven on? You haven’t been in the kitchen, but you need to check. I sit down and begin to journal, but I can’t finish before the intr...