Memories Made and Memories Lost

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How proud he was of my for my first prom. 
How he ran out of the dug out on my first home run, and almost got kicked off the field for the rest of the game.
When he made those shitty scrambled eggs after going out at 2am on one of my terrible pain nights, because I really wanted eggs and we were out. 
His hug and tears picking me up at IWU, and giving me his IronMan medal because “I was his IronMan.” 
Telling me he was proud of me when I got cut from volleyball, because he was never brave enough to try out for a sport he could get cut from.  
Training to run the Fort for Fitness with me and being my softball coach. 
“Calling Dr. Dad!” 
Sweaty hugs and the designated “grumpy goose” on vacations.
Awful snack ideas at the cottage and the Deca-Pentathlon. 
Running a lap with the Michigan flag before kickoff, and knowing how loud he’d be screaming with Michigan beating OSU the last two years. 
Saying, “And that, my friends, is what we call ‘closure,’” after my ex-boyfriend hid behind his dad to pick up his stuff. 
Psych and Friends and King of Queens. 
Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit and caramel corn. 
Celebrations specially planned for me, like the two-year seizure-free party. 
Special dinners and desserts, and homemade “caramel” Chex mix for me on family caramel corn nights. 
Mozzarella sticks specially made gluten-free. 
Valentine’s Day flowers, Christmas necklaces, and daddy-daughter date nights. 
“Here comes the BOOM!” and “Now don’t start that again!” and “Aslan is on the move.” 
Never being afraid to cry in front of me.
Making up with me after a bad argument at midnight so we didn’t go to bed angry.
Screaming at my high school graduation and always finding a way to embarrass the shit out of me.
Calling me every two minutes while I’m walking to Wal-Mart because he’s scared something will happen, then finally just showing up to drive me home. 
Taking my brothers to Hunger Games midnight showing when they were 14 & 16. 
Telling me he loves me and he’s proud of me every day. 
Being his bugaboo and watching him complete his 20th race of some sort. 
Him telling me he didn’t give up on his last Half IronMan even when he wanted to, because he’d remind himself of me and my pain and how I never gave up. 
Theology talks with the family on drives to and from vacations. 
Tugging his ear to tell us he loved us, and ice cream for every occasion.
Ice cream dinners and getting me several pints of my special kind, because I couldn’t eat what everyone else Was.
Crying over me and him and mom praying for healing over me while I slept
Getting his first iPhone and having me pull up an (illegal) Friends episode on a road trip to IWU. 
Being my advocate when the Assistant Dean of Student Conduct accused me of faking my seizures, kicking me off campus at 9:30 at night. 
Telling me to go introduce myself to Dr. JoAnne Lyon, and being embraced with an, “Oh Danny! I love Danny!” 
Him and momma loving each other more and more every day. 
Tweets about his kids’ accomplishments and being the funniest guy he knew. 
Prank calling Jordan at work and Jordan saying, “Dad. I see the phone number. I know it’s you.” 
Stealing mom’s jokes and telling her that if she wants credit, she has to be brave and say them louder. 
Giving the most amazing and heartfelt gifts. 
…
Watching Jordan, Payton, and Danni graduate high school. 
Watching me graduate college. 
Walking me down the aisle, and marrying us to our spouses. 
Becoming a grandpa to Uriah, and a fellow grandpa with Bruce. 
More family vacations.
9 more Valentine’s Days with his Valentine. 
Meeting and accidentally scaring the crap out of Ethan, just like I scared him a little when we first met. (Chitwoods are intimidating when we don’t mean to be). 
Becoming such a good Father-in-Law. 
Learning about the enneagram and bonding with me over being another Social 8w7. 
Preaching hundreds of more sermons. 
Putting up the Christmas trees and watching the Psych movies and eating every dessert I’ve ever made. 
Sticking by my side through getting a restraining order against my boyfriend, and kicking ass at IWU for everyone who blamed me and took his side. 
Probably throwing a party for my celiac diagnosis, or at the very least getting 4 half-gallons of ice cream. 
Being there to help take care of his mom on hospice. 
Writing his book, Chasing the Whisper. 
Getting his hair cut by my sister.
Finding a way to force Bruce to take both him and Uriah fishing, and talking non-stop while Bruce probably imagined pushing him out of the boat. 
Roping the staff into midnight movies after Elder meetings. 
Being mom’s biggest cheerleader while getting her ordination, and crushing anyone’s opinion of her being “less than” as a female pastor. 
Watching Michigan beat OSU two years in a row. 
468 more weeks, 3287 more days, 78,888 more hours, 4,733,280 more minutes, and 283,996,800 more seconds.
Hundreds of more hugs and thousands of more “I love you’s” and “I’m proud of you’s.” 

I’ll never forget a single memory and I’ll never stop regretting those that will never be made. 

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this.” -C.S. Lewis, the Last Battle 



Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 17, 2022 at 11:06 AM

    So beautiful Tay. I had to stop midway because I was crying so hard. But I finished it. I love your Dad so much and miss him.

    ReplyDelete

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