Through the Fire

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I titled this blog “Through the Fire” because I believe so many of us are walking through flames. I have people whom I love so dearly who are going through heartbreak and pain, family members suffering, and my own issues.

If you’ve read my blog before, then you know I will never put my pain above anyone else. There are hurts and aches in this world I could never begin to imagine; my only goal is to bring hope and God’s affirmation to the suffering. God helps me do this through sharing my story. I hope this particular blog can bring some of the Lord’s hope into your heart .

These last four months have been really hard on my husband and I. After months of health issues and several ER visits, I finally got diagnosed with Celiac’s disease. I had to eat gluten for the nearly two-months before the procedure to confirm the biopsy; if you know anything about Celiac’s, then you know how badly this messes you up. I now have intestinal damage, damage to the lining of my stomach, ulcers, along with several other issues. Now that we know what’s going on, we can begin to treat the issue, but I am still suffering physically.

In all this, we have experienced a lot of other really hard stuff. Most of it stems from my health, but we have been under other stressors – me not being able to work at the moment as one of them.

I’m learning how to cope with not staying busy all the time, but it’s really difficult to try to recuperate without the life I’m accustomed to. I love to work. I love to be busy. Cooking, cleaning, learning, volunteering – I love filling up my life and doing everything I can to be the best wife, the best friend, the best sister, the best daughter…and now that that’s gone, I have such a sense of inferiority.

Walking through the fire… that’s where I am.

And how do I escape? How do I rest on the days that I feel the heaviness of all I have gone through? The horrific abuse that still keeps me up at night, the grief of losing my dad at 19, the unending health issues for the last 12 years…how do I keep walking when I’ve been burned so badly? How can I heal – how can I win? What is the purpose in all of this? Where is my God?

“Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani…” my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Jesus cried out these words on the Cross as He was suffering for our sins. And therein lies my answer. Where is my God while I am walking through the fire?

He is commanding His army, on my behalf, to fight those flames. He’s walking through them right next to me. He’s keeping them off of my skin, lest I get burned. He’s not apathetic. He’s next to me, holding me, and guarding me.

The Lord’s army outweighs that of the Enemy’s 3:1. Whom shall I fear? If I am surrounded by the Enemy’s army, am I alone? Am I outnumbered?

No! I may be surrounded – but God’s army is surrounding Satan’s. And Satan doesn’t stand a chance in this fire. He may have the upper hand right now. He may beat me down until I feel I have nothing left. He may – and has – attack(ed) my marriage. He may come after my family. He may find a way to use the abuse against me. He may keep me in these flames as long as he can…but I’m gonna tell you something, and it’s the honest-to-God truth (pun intended).

God’s plan? His army? His love?

It’s on an HNL (a ‘hole nuther level!). And Satan can’t even hope to touch that kind of power. He can’t touch God’s plan and purpose for you – that was ordained before you were even born. He can threaten, but never take away your identity as a child of God. He can’t steal your salvation. You may be put through the fire, but you will not be burned. That is your promise. That is your inheritance. You are not abandoned, and you are not alone.

Are you walking through the fire right now? Are you going through the unimaginable? There is hope, and there is help. It’s not often an easy fix, but you have a joy and hope that cannot be shaken (Hebrews 12:28). I am here to walk with you through your struggles. Please contact me through the “about me” section of my blog – I would love for you to see that you are not alone.

“I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”” -Psalms‬ ‭91:2-5, 7, 9-16‬ ‭NIV ‬‬

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